Hair AGAIN!

Since the last chemo in December and during the radiation fiasco, my hair had started to grow back.  It came in mostly grey but it was even and it looked kind of like a typical man's haircut.  What I didn't realize or even think about was losing it again after I resumed chemo a little over three weeks ago.

Earlier this week, I noticed hair on the bar of soap that I use to wash my head.  Then I looked at my pillow and it was covered with hair.

Yesterday, everything kind of came to a "head" so to speak.  After I got back from the bloodwork appointment, I laid down for a little bit and took off my cap.  When I got up and looked in the mirror, it was scary!!!

I had a wonderful dog named Ellie.  She was a chow mix with red hair.  She was a wonderful dog.   The first time I took her to get her chow (lion) haircut, she looked great.   However, as her hair started to grow back, it was in tufts here and there some of which would stand out like they had electricity in them.   She was the sweetest dog ever, but also wasn't the most beautiful chow!  I had to continually get her what body hair she had cut so she looked good.  We had a lot of good laughs about her through the years.   I still miss her.

As I was looking in the mirror, all I could think was "I have become Ellie"!  That is exactly how my hair looked.   I had bald spots all over along with areas with tufts of hair sticking out.   This did not happen the first time.  

Dave was golfing so when I came out of the bedroom, I asked Patrick if I reminded him of anyone.  Of course, his first words were "Ellie."   Although I don't go out without a hat or my wig, I don't always have one on here at home.   And the way my hair looked was bad.  So we did another "shave" of my head! 

Needless to say, I didn't take any pictures of the before or after even though the after is at least even but bald.   It isn't how I want my hair to look, but it is certainly better than it was.  And this will hopefully give it the opportunity to grow back evenly.

All I can say is that the only thing I can do is laugh!  Actually, my hair is the least of my worries.  If that is the price I have to pay to get completely well, that is okay with me.   I am anxious for it to start growing back when I am finished treatment, but more than hair, I want some energy back.  That is what is hardest for me!!

TO BE CONTINUED......................!

PASSED THE PLATELET TEST!!

I went in today at 11:00 for bloodwork to see how my platelets were and if I could have a chemo treatment as soon as possible.   On Monday, they were at 80,000. When I went in Wednesday for chemo and was sent home, they were at 85,000.  Needless to say,  I was very nervous as I truly want to get this behind me.  I had to wait a bit as they were very busy today.   The nurses are wonderful and always have a smile, a kind word and an encouraging word no matter how  busy they are.  I truly appreciate that.  They could tell how worried I was and they were extra kind.

I had to wait about  a half and hour to get the results.  I sat there quietly and observed their interactions with the other people in the room.  They treat everyone with kindness and encouragement.  A couple of times, one or the other came over and said they were trying to get my results as soon as possible but that things were very busy.   

I was so relieved when Lisa came over and told me I HAD PASSED and could come in Monday morning.  The platelets were up from 85,000 to 132,000.  I asked her how that could happen and she said it does often.   Once they start to go back up, it can be quickly.  I was just so relieved that I didn't care.  

It isn't that I look forward to chemo, but I truly want to get this behind me so I can start to get my strength back and to start having some fun again!!

I will know more Monday as to what the schedule will be for the last treatment and  the PET Scan and  getting to Butte.  If it goes according to this schedule, it will mean I will probably miss graduation,  which is very disappointing.   However, it is what it is and I can't do anything about it.  I just need to concentrate on getting completely well.

So I will prepare for Monday and I will be very glad to be down to the last chemo treatment in three weeks!!

TO BE CONTINUED.........................!

SENT HOME AND I DIDN'T EVEN MISBEHAVE!

Yesterday morning I got up early and finished all of my preparations for my chemo treatment.   I knew that there was a possibility that I wouldn't be able to get it because of the issue with my platelet count being low.  I had done everything I thought I should do in the day and a half but it didn't work.  The platelet count went up a bit but not enough.

Needless to say, I was really discouraged--probably more so than anything else that has happened.  I think it is because I had everything figured out that I would be able to finally do some of the fun things being on the Governing Board that I have missed this year.  Depending on what happens and the timeline will depend on whether or not I can participate in graduation activities.  If I had the chemo yesterday, all dates would have worked out.  Plus I am really anxious to get to Montana.  

After my "pity party" and time to think about it, I realized that getting completely well is what is most important.  I will be able to do the "fun" things next year if I do everything Dr. Bhoola says to do now.

I talked to Tara (NP) when I was leaving and she said that this is just what happens with chemo at times.   It is very potent and gets rid of cancer, but it can also do some damage to other parts of your body.   She also said that there is really nothing I did wrong or can do to make  it better.  That was a relief because I was literally forcing myself to eat the two previous days.  When I am not hungry, that is really a chore.  I ate good yesterday and I think it was because the pressure was off and I could just relax and "enjoy" a meal.

So tomorrow I go for bloodwork and then hopefully will have the chemo treatment on Monday. 

Just another glitch in this "c" journey.  And my attitude is back to the positive side today!!  I am just hoping tomorrow the platelet count will be high enough for treatment.

TO BE CONTINUED...................!

One Day at a Time Certainly Applies!

One day at a time has certainly been something that I have had to realize the importance of and try to adhere to it during this journey.

After everything I have dealt with and the setbacks with the radiation, things have been looking so much better.  Although my lack of strength and energy is frustrating, I do know that I can't push myself and have to understand I will get it back even if it takes some time.

This last week I have done more things around the house than I have in quite sometime.  Often times when I do some things, I have to sit down for a bit before I can continue.  And just the little rest helps me to finish or do another chore.

I have been feeling good other than this lack of energy.   It has been a good feeling to be able to do a few things and to be up most of the day without having to lay down or take a nap.

Yesterday I wrote about the light at the end of the tunnel.  Today I went in to get my blood drawn for chemo on Wednesday.  I have never had an issues with my blood levels before chemo.   The only time there was any concern was when I was going through the electrolyte issue and my blood work was not good at all.   Three weeks ago, it was fine and that was after all that had happened to my body. 

I went in today and found out that my platelets are lower than they should be.  I have had such a hard time eating much of anything but it hasn't been any different than any other time.  I have not eaten well but I have done good with drinking a lot of water.  Food just hasn't been  appealing.

The nurse told me that they would test me again on Wednesday and then the doctor would decide what to do if they are still low.    He will either not give me as much chemo or have to postpone this session.  I asked her what I could do and she said to eat a lot and make sure that I ate a lot of protein.  

Needless to say, I was and am discouraged about this.  I came home and looked up what were the best foods for protein.  I ate avocados, scrambled an egg and Dave made me a protein shake.  This was all after 2:00.   I ate all of everything and was completely full.  Patrick fixed chicken and a delicious vegetable mix of spinach, broccoli and zucchini.  I ate more than I usually do and it was hard to force it down.

If it gets postponed, that will mean that everything will get moved back however much time is needed.  I want to be done for many reasons and I want to be able to get to Montana.

I have my "menu" all planned for tomorrow.  It is hard to eat when I am not hungry but I just took my time and made myself eat every bite.  

And on another note, my hair had started to grow back because prior to three weeks ago, I hadn't had chemo since December.  The last three days it has been falling out again--nothing like before as I don't have that much hair.  But it made me realize that it is going to take  some time to grow back.  

I have to be patient and accept that so many of the issues I have had are out of my control.  And I just have to make myself eat regularly.   And remember that this journey is truly one day at a time!

Here's to a lot of protein eaten over the next day and a half and positive results Wednesday morning!!

TO BE  CONTINUED...........................! 

Light at the End of the Tunnel!

Wednesday is my second to last chemo treatment!  The last one is scheduled three weeks later (May 18)!  So finally, there is a "light at the end of the tunnel."   I will be glad to be done with them.   However, even though I have a few rough days on the weekend after and I still can't get any energy back, chemo has been nothing compared to radiation.  

Three weeks later, I have to get a PET Scan done to see if the cancer is gone.  I have it scheduled for June 8.  I know that there will be a few "nervous" days between now and when I get the results.  The good thing for me is that I have been cancer free since my hysterectomy and when I had the PET Scan done in December after the first three chemo treatments, there was absolutely no cancer detected.   I am hoping, praying and staying positive for the same results.

The only issue we have is when to leave for Montana.  Both Dave and I are anxious to get there, but I can't go until after June 8.  Our two options is that we leave right after graduation and then I fly back for the scan or Dave and someone in the family drives up with him (high maintenance pugs) and I stay here and fly to Butte right after the scan.   Dr. Bhoola said we can do the appointment for the results either on zoom or over the phone so that I can get to Montana.

I love Arizona and our home here in Gilbert.  I am very content with all that we have and what I will soon be able to do again.   However, Butte is my "happy place" and I can hardly wait to get up there.   I have had to learn a lot of "patience" over the last nine months so this is just one more lesson for me.

I will say that going through a diagnosis of cancer and then the treatment, did cause me to rethink a lot about priorities in life.  Sometimes we just can't make plans too far in advance because of a variety of reasons.

I am looking forward to getting my strength back and being able to do more tasks around the house and try to get back to a regular walking routine.  I know it is going to take some time which will once again test my "new found patience" gene!!!  But I will get there!

I am thankful that Dave already has patience.  He has been through a lot with me and I can't thank him enough for his support, caring and love.   Did I ever luck out when I met and married this wonderful man.

So soon this part of my journey will be over and hopefully the next will be full recuperation!!!  

TO BE CONTINUED..............!

Swimming--Finally Some Exercise

When this "c" journey began in the early fall, I was able to walk and get some exercise.   Right after the hysterectomy, I was able to walk.  I tried to make it an extra block or two a day.  For several weeks, I was getting fairly good exercise under the circumstances.  

After chemo started and then my bout with all of the side effects of radiation, I absolutely did not have the energy to walk.  There were times when I didn't have the energy to get out of bed, let alone take a walk somewhere.  The other issue along with the lack of energy, was that I have been a bit unsteady on my feet.  I know most of this is due to the weakness from treatment, but some of it still has to do with the issues I have had had with my feet through the years.  So basically, I have done no exercise in several months.  For someone who did a lot of walking prior, this has worried me.

When we got out pool several years ago, I wanted a heater put in.  For all of those years, I swam almost every night between March and October as swimming as always been one of my favorite activities.

I called and talked to the nurse at the doctor's office to find out if it is okay for me to swim.  There was a point (and my chemo brain doesn't remember exactly) when I couldn't swim our take a bath.  I just decided I would make sure if it was okay.  She asked me a few questions and talked to the NP and I was told it would be absolutely fine.

So I went for a swim and was it ever wonderful.  I was able to swim a few laps and actual get a little bit of exercise.   The pool wasn't quite as warm as I would have liked it, but it still felt good and we will get that adjusted!  I felt so good when I got out and I wasn't tired.  Was I ever relaxed!  My goal (as long as I am feeling good) is to try to get a swim in every day.  As Dave reminded me, I tend to overdo things when I start to feel a bit better.  I promised him I would pace myself.

I feel like I accomplished a real feat today and does it feel good!!

To Be Continued.........................!

Scale Up--Scale Down

 

Without going into a lot of detail,  there was a period of about three weeks when I was doing the radiation and before they decided to stop, that I was retaining water like crazy and at the same time losing electrolytes to a dangerous level.   During that period of time, I was getting two hours a day of infusions of electrolytes at Dr. Bhoola's office as my blood count showed that there were some very serious issues.  Each day I was gaining between two and three pounds.  So over a three week period of time in February and March, there were three different times that I gained over 25 pounds and then lost it.  It wasn't fun to go in see that I gained two to three pounds when I was hardly eating.  I did know that it was water weight because of the infusions but it was still demoralizing.  This is a very long story so I am just going to tell the part of the story that was humorous.

In late March just before I was scheduled for chemo, I went in for an infusion.  Once again I had gained another three pounds putting me higher than I have been in many years.  The nurse said that we wouldn't do any more infusions until and unless Dr. Bhoola felt it was needed.  That was a Friday.  I went in on Tuesday and was weighed and I literally lost 25 pounds over the weekend.  Although I had fluctuated several times,  I had never lost so much over a three day period.

Now to the funny part of this story--I sent a text to Shane and our Board President,  Lori.  This was in the middle of the gaining and losing.  I let them know that I may NOT be able to go to the Tuesday night meeting because my pants might be too tight (which was very true).   They, of course, had a good laugh and sent me some funny memes.   I think that was probably a new "reason" for not attending a meeting.  Tuesday came along and when I was weighed and lost so much over the weekend, now I was worried that my pants might be too loose (and they were).  But I did promise them that I would wear pants with an elastic waist band so that I wouldn't have my pants fall down in the middle of the meeting!  

What a conundrum!   Can't attend a public meeting one day because pants are too tight and maybe can't attend because pants might be too loose!

Fortunately, I have mostly maintained the lower weight (even lost a few more pounds) over the last few weeks.  I am still not eating  very well but some days are better than others!  I am trying to eat good, healthy food and have protein shakes when I absolutely don't have any appetite.  And of course, I am taking a lot of supplements.   Fortunately, my blood work was back to a normal place before I had my last chemo.

As I have said many times in my life, I have to find the humor in situations.  It helps me cope!!

TO BE CONTINUED..............................! 

Michael Anthony O'Connell--Truly One of the Good Guys!!!

The world lost a good man on Feb. 24--Michael Anthony O'Connell.   Mike was born on June 29, 1944.  He was the loving husband of my cousin, Janine.   I loved that he always called her Jeanie.  He was the proud father of Tracy  and and an absolutely devoted grandfather to Meagan and Sarah. And when I say devoted, I believe that Mike rewrote the definition for what a devoted grandfather means (as did Jean for a devoted grandmother.)

In our family, it is always a joke about who is "our favorite cousin."   I must say that I think I can get away with saying that Mike was one of  my favorite cousins because he was an "out"law cousin--married to my  first cousin.  

Did we ever have good times through the years!   Mike never met a stranger.  I remember when they would come to Douglas when we were down there in the summers.   Mike would go out for coffee or a beer and get to know people.   We would go someplace and hear "Hi, Mike!"  And you have to  know that both my mom and Aunt Teresa were prominent residents!!

I was very sad that I was not able to go to the funeral to support Jean and pay tribute to a wonderful guy.

Ted, Jean's brother did the main eulogy which I will put at the bottom of this.  His two granddaughters also talked about what a great grandpa he was.  I was able to watch the service and I have to say I cried through what the girls said. 

Here are Ted's words spoken so eloquently and so sincerely:

"Michael Anthony O’Connell
1944-2022

There’s a new Saint in heaven and his name is Michael Anthony O’Connell.
I am happy to share his life's story…some of it true, some apocryphal, but all of it legendary as befitting Himself.

Michael was was born in San Francisco on June 29, 1944 to Elizabeth Tracy and Glen Solon. Betty and her sister had moved out to San Francisco during WW2 to work in the shipyards. There she married James O’Connell who adopted Mike. Later, Betty remarried  a widower with a young son around Mike's age. His name was Ned Ongaro and his son was named Ned Jr, or Neddie. Ned was as Italian as Betty was Irish! Mike soon picked up the nickname, O’Connelli. Mike was raised in San Anselmo where he attended St Anselm’s Elementary and Marin Catholic H.S.  

Mike was taught by the Holy Name Sister’s at St Anselm’s. The same sisters that taught the Park kids at St Ignatius in Sacramento. In fact one sister in particular, Sister Leo, taught Mike and later his brothers-in-law, Ted & Ed Park. Mike was on the receiving end of the Sister’s wrath when, in 7th or 8th grade, he ignited a firecracker in the auditorium at St Anselm’s. (Mike always had a fascination with pyrotechnics.  As a kid, I remember him always having firecrackers around the house.) Some 10 years later, while he was dating Janine Park, Mike visited Sister Leo at St Ignatius in Sacramento where Ted and Ed Park were in 6th grade. Mike pulled up to the classroom in a green Pontiac Le Mans. We were all impressed!

Mike was a track star at Marin Catholic, running in the State Championships. He spent his freshman year in college at Oregon State University in Corvallis. He later transferred to San Francisco State College where he met the love of his life, Janine Park.
Janine came from a family of 6…Mike quickly became the 7th sibling and a brother to the rest.

Mike and Janine were married in January 1967 in said St Ignatius Church. Shortly thereafter he was drafted into the United States Army. After basic training in Ft Knox, Ky, and Advanced Infantry School in Anniston, Alabama, Mike was ordered to report to Ft Myer, Washington, D.C.  Ft Myer is the U.S. Army post adjacent to Arlington National Cemetery. From Ft Myer, Mike was deployed to Heidelberg, Germany and the United States Seventh Army. Mike served as an Aide de Camp to the Commanding General, United States Army Europe.

But enough about Mike’s military career. The most important thing that happened during Mike and Janine’s tenure in Heidelberg was the birth of their daughter, Tracy Ann O’Connell in 1968. Mike and Janine returned to settle in San Jose, CA. Mike spent his career working as a Plant Manager in The Bay Area Printing Industry.  They were active members of St Victor’s Parish and St Victor’s Elementary School. They served in many ministries at St Victor’s as Eucharistic Minister’s, Minister’s of the Word, and Religious Education. Mike served in both the Knights of Columbus and St Vincent de Paul Society.

Being from the Bay Area, Michael didn’t suffer the Sacramento heat vey well. One of my vivid memories of Mike is him sitting on an inner tube in the middle of Folsom Lake, hat on his head, shirt of his back and a 6-pack of Hamm's in his lap. He was The Floater.

There were no strangers in Michael’s life…just friends he hadn’t met yet. An avid golfer, it was easy for Mike to join a foursome for a round of golf. He was able to parlay his love of the game into a post-retirement gig at a local golf course. Free golf in exchange for marshaling services. After fifty years of golfing, he finally got his hole-in-one. Not bad for a septuagenarian duffer. His accomplishment made the newspaper.

Mike’s retirement years were filled with activities…golf, Knights of Columbus, St Vincent de Paul Society, shopping at Safeway, and attending the sporting events of his grandkids, Megan and Sarah. He never missed a Special Olympics competition of Sarah’s. He packed her school lunch everyday.   Oh, and did I mention Scratchers? The California Lottery Commission has built whole schools from the sale of Scratchers to Mike O'Connell. When he was recovering from heart surgery in 2015, he received $50 worth of Scratchers while in the CCU. He went through them like Sherman's March to the sea, creating a pile of rubber filings in front of him. The Nurse came in and asked what the filings were…Mike, deadpanned, told her he thinks they have mice. Mike’s humor was dry and his wit sharp. Akin to his Milwaukee cousins.

Shortly thereafter, Michael was able to connect with family he had never met. He discovered a half brother and sister, Scott and Stephanie Solon, children of Glen Solon. I know that meant a lot to Mike. But Mike was not short on family. After marrying Janine, he was warmly adopted into the Park-Scott Family and never missed a Scott Family Reunion in Arizona. He as so loved by his many nieces and nephews. Nary a Christmas morning passed that Mike wasn’t assembling bikes or toys brought by Santa. He always had the right sized battery required to bring these toys to life.

But the highlight of his retirement would have to be his return to Heidelberg in 2017, nearly 50 years after his tour there. Janine, Tracy, Mike, and his brothers and sisters-in-law, traveled on a river cruise from Austria, through Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium. The highlight of that trip was an excursion to Heidelberg  I know it brought back great memories for Mike and Janine and created new ones for Tracy.

There’s a new Saint in Heaven: Michael Anthony O’Connell. A deserving reward for a life well lived and one so loved. Well done, good and faithful servant. Come and share your Master's joy.  (Matthew 25:23)" 

Those we love are never really gone, as long as their stories are told and there are MANY wonderful stories through the years!  Mike's stories will live on through Jean, Tracy, Sarah and Meagan and all of his family.

We will miss you, Mike.   Thanks for the memories.....................
 

February and March

For me to try to briefly summarize what has transpired between my last blog post and today would be so much to write and I am sure I would lose my audience.  So I am going to try to make it is a brief as possible but still telling the story.  Please bear with me if I don't have dates and times correctly.

I started off with radiation and made it for about  a week before getting extremely sick.  I have always been healthy with a few things such as asthma, which has been totally under control and orthopedic surgeries.  I have had my share of normal colds, etc. where I didn't feel good.  However, this kind of sick is something I NEVER want to deal with ever again.  I truly have never been this sick.  There were days when I couldn't get out of bed and days where I had to help just walking.

Turns out that radiation and the diverticulitis and my intestines were bitter enemies.  I was referred to a gastrointestinal doctor who told me that the side effects of what I was dealing with could be life threatening.   That was enough for me.  Dr. Bhoola, my gynecologist/oncologist said no more.   I really didn't have to go through radiation, but I was trying to do everything that would help to clear me and have the least chance for it reoccurring.

I ended up one night in the ER with my blood pressure being 70 over 50--not good.   They kept me and gave me fluids with electrolytes.

For three weeks, I went to Dr. Bhoola's office and received a two hour infusion of electrolytes and vitamins because I was so depleted. 

During this four week period, I gained 20 pounds then lost it.  Then during the infusions, I was gaining two to three pounds a day from the water.   We stopped the infusions a week ago Friday and I lost 20 pounds over the weekend.    I was very glad to lose that weight because I certainly don't want to gain weight, but we had a Governing Board meeting that night.  I was afraid that I would have to call in and say I had to miss the meeting because I didn't have pants that weren't too tight!   Dodged that bullet!!!

Between the infusions and getting a lot of rest, I am finally feeling much better.  The infusions restored all of the vitamins and electrolytes that I was missing.

This week I had my appointment with Dr. Bhoola. I asked Judy to go with me because I don't always "hear" everything that is said and she has knowledge that I don't have.

It was a very positive appointment.  I asked him about the percentages that I was given at the beginning by radiologist about how much a difference getting radiation would make. He told me that those are just statistics and every case is different.  My particular kind of cancer reacts very well to the kind of chemo that I am getting and that radiation doesn't make that much of a difference with the type I have.   It was my choice to go through it--not his recommendation.  He said that he is confident that my treatment plan is the best for me.  I trust Dr. Bhoola implicitly and I truly like him and respect him.   During one of the weekends when I was so sick, he had given me his cell number.  I never want to abuse anything, but I had to call him.  I texted him and he called me within an hour.

It has been a much better week.   I still don't have much strength and tend to tire out very quickly, but I have been able to at least get myself some water and do a few things.  Believe me, that is a huge improvement,

Next Wednesday, I start the last of the three chemos which will be three weeks apart.  I should be done by mid May.  They will do a PET Scan and Dr. Bhoola said for us to plan our summer in Montana.

After this experience, I found out that no matter how strong you think you are, you might not be.  I had some pretty down days emotionally as well as physically,  I am not quite back physically, but I am emotionally.

TO BE CONTINUED..............................!