A Very Special Gift

I have not written my blog in quite some time for a variety of reasons. So much has happened this month and the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas have never been my favorites anyway. School is especially stressful the week before the break every year with this year being no exception. I think it has been one of the hardest that I have had since becoming a principal.

Two weeks ago one of the moms at our school was brutally murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Her son attends our school and there are many extended family members who also attend our school. We have had many things happen over the years, but this is the first time something like this has occurred. Each time we have something happen, I always write a letter to the parents in the students' classrooms or to our entire school community depending on the situation. I attended the rosary, but was not able to make the funeral. Several of our staff went to the funeral.

Last Wednesday morning, I received a phone call from our school nurse saying that a mom that so many of my staff members had become close with lost her battle to cancer. She has four young children. The father had called our nurse in the middle of the night and she was there when she died. The family had moved to Arizona about a year and a half ago and did not have any family here. Several of my staff members and parents became her family. They helped take care of the children, took her to doctor's appointments, sat with her when she was in the hospital and visited her at home. Again, a letter was sent home to the families of the students in the classrooms where the children are and a funeral to attend last Monday. It broke my heart to see her four year old son and her seven year old son as pall bearers...

We recently found out that my Aunt Teresa's breast cancer has come back. We are feeling very positive about this. Of course, she has a wonderful attitude and probably the strongest faith of anyone I know.

My cousin, Pat, went with me to Douglas to pick her up over the weekend. Pat lost her husband, Phil, to cancer last January. Over the weekend, we talked about last Christmas when Phil was so sick. We had all of our family Christmas gatherings at her house because of Phil's illness. When I look back on last Christmas, it is with joy and I told her that. Even though we knew he was so sick, we were all together. Phil's last Christmas with us was how we celebrated every Christmas. I have missed talking to him, especially when something funny happened at school. He always enjoyed my stories!

Every few days I send a text message to my cousin, Ana, who recently lost her son, Steven, in a tragic car accident in California. I can't imagine what she and her family are going through and the holidays have to be very difficult, especially this first one. I just want her to know that I am thinking of her. I hope that these messages bring her some comfort.

On Thursday morning, one of my wonderful teachers brought me a gift that is probably one of the most touching and meaningful gifts that I have ever received. Her dear mother who is an incredible human being had written a book about something that happened when she was about six or seven years old just before Christmas. It is advertised as a book for children, but it is much more than a book for children. It is a beautiful story about the power of faith and about Christmas. It takes place in Sacramento, California, where she grew up. I have several cousins who grew up in Sacramento and I have ordered a book for them.

The book's title is Christmas on K Street, by Nancy Gilson Olivas. In the epilogue Nancy writes "As with most people, my life has been filled with great blessings and great sorrows. The sorrows are hard to understand sometimes. They can surely get you off track. But I have always been aware as the years go by that blessings far outweigh the troubles in my life."

This is beautifully said and I needed that book that day! Thank you for the gift of this book, Becky. Thank you for writing this story, Nancy, and for your incredible support over the years.

The last paragraph in the book says, "Believe. Believe in Santa and the message of hope and love he brings to us every Christmas. And if you are so inclined, say a little prayer to Jesus."

I continue to feel blessed for many reasons. The family that I was born into is second to none. My cousins and their families are more than cousins to me. My mother taught me so much and was such a role model as to how you treat people and how you stand up for what you believe in. I feel blessed to have had her in my life for so many years and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her and miss her. My Uncle Johnny who lived with us when I was growing up meant so much to me. Mary, the wonderful lady who took care of us growing up, taught me many valuable lessons about life. She didn't have much, but she had love. Every time I make beans or green and red chili meat I think of her and thank her for teaching me this along with so many other important lessons about life. My Aunt Teresa is probably the best person I have ever known. I love her dearly! Having Judy be such a support in my life means so much to me. And of course, what would I do without my children, Kerri and Patrick, and Cameron?

I am also blessed with many dear friends and a job that is not just a job at a wonderful school with an incredible group of people who come to school each day to make a difference in the lives of children, both academically and emotionally.

And as always on December 23rd, I think of my dear friend, Ellen Widmer, on this her birthday. She has been gone for six years now and I miss her kindness, her love of teaching and of all children, but most of all her---friendship. I am thankful that I had her in my life!

In my life, the joys do outweigh the sorrows.........

For those of you who read this blog, I hope that your holidays are filled with joy and peace. Happy Holidays!

Amazing Moments

The weeks between Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays are among my least favorite of the school year. I could not tell you why based on any research on this matter, but I do have an opinion. I think that there are several reasons--kids are excited and trying to get through required curriculum isn't what they want to be doing; teachers are the most patient of people, but these weeks stretch that patience. This year in particular has brought a lot more stress because of the economic woes that we are facing. Many families of both children and staff have faced job loss, less money, higher insurance premiums...... Public education deals with all that is good and bad in our society.

For the past several years, our school has housed three of the district's Autism classrooms. Although I have a special education background, I truly knew very little about working with Autistic children. I have learned so much over the last several years. It has probably been one of the most rewarding programs that I have ever overseen. The students have done incredibly well at our school thanks to the wonderful special education teachers, regular classroom teachers, instructional assistants, and the incredible children that we work with every day.

We have approximately 53 students who have been diagnosed with Autism which is a fairly high number. I truly believe in what we are doing and what it means to society in the future. Many of these children are incredibly bright. I believe that by giving them opportunities to learn social skills and be integrated into the regular classroom, we are opening doors for them that will enable them to be productive members of society. I believe that one of these students might find a cure for cancer or some other disease in the future.

Something happened yesterday that sums up everything that occurs every day in the wonderful school that I am fortunate to be a part of. We had our annual Geography Bee. Several of the students who participated in the bee were students in our Autism program. One of the students missed his first two questions and was so upset. His teachers tried to calm him and he continued to sob. It wasn't very loud, but it was noticeable to all of the students in the audience. When it came time for the third round, he got up and then took his name card off and wasn't going to even attempt to answer. He then decided to try and got the answer incorrect again. The fourth round came along and he was still very upset and not sure he wanted to try again. However, he did and got the answer correct. Very quietly, the students in the audience began to clap for him. It wasn't loud, but it was spontaneous and such an incredible gesture on the part of our fourth, fifth and sixth graders.

When something like this happens, you know that all of the hard work that everyone at our school performs on a daily basis to ensure academic and emotional successes is well worth it. I was so proud of our students yesterday for so many reasons. Trying to recount this event with words is difficult and doesn't capture the emotions that I felt yesterday.

Once again, I can honestly say that this is why I get up each morning and go to school and work the crazy hours that I do and deal with some of the unbelievable situations that occur. If we had a camera going to record for reality television, there would be some that would say that we made these things up!!

If I had the opportunity to live my life over again, I can't imagine doing anything different than being an educator. It is truly the most important profession in our society. Even though the politicians and many people in our society don't respect it enough, I can say that is their problem. I know that when the day comes that I leave my office for the last time, I will know that my many years contributed to the betterment of our society. I am proud to be an educator!!!

Happy Birthday, Ann!

Last, but not least--Happy Birthday, Ann! It was a year ago in December that I told my Aunt Teresa that I would write something about all of her nieces and nephews on their birthdays. Ann is the last of the cousins to wish a very happy birthday.

Ann is the second daughter of my mom's brother, Tom. She grew up in Washington D.C. and now lives in Florida with her husband, Joe. They have two children, Dawn and Danny. Dawn and her husband have two children.

It was great to see Ann this past summer when we went to the reunion at the Farm in Virginia. Ann is a lot of fun to be around. She has a wonderful sense of humor and there is always laughter around her. I posted a video of Ann doing a cheer for the volleyball games that were happening at the reunion. It is still on You Tube on my account (TequilaCheela).

I remember the summer that I graduated from high school, Ann and her sister, Ellen came to Arizona. We then went to California and visited Disneyland. Ann's dad got us a tour of Disneyland that was unbelievable. We didn't have to wait in any lines and we got to go backstage and see different parts of Disneyland that a regular tourist wouldn't be able to see. We were even picked up in a limo and taken by helicopter to Disneyland. I can tell you that Disneyland has never been the same for me since that experience!! I have wonderful memories of that summer with Ellen and Ann.

We don't get to see each other very often, but I always enjoy our time together! Hope you have a wonderful birthday today, Ann, and hope we can get together soon!!

Friday the 13th--an Event-filled, Eventful and Wonderful Day!

A year ago about this time, my grandson came running into my office to tell me there were people across the street from our school who had on "inappropriate" t-shirts with words like titty on them. Come to find out that the parking lot across from our school was a cheering station for the Phoenix area Susan G. Komen Three Day Walk for the Cure.

We did an all-call on the intercom and let teachers and students know that the walkers would be passing by if they would like to go out and cheer them on. You could tell that the walkers were thrilled and touched to see all of the children out cheering for them. Many of them had cameras and were taking pictures.

Later that morning, the husband of one of my absolutely wonderful teachers, Martha, came into tell me that his wife had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She was going to need the rest of the year off to fight this awful disease.

About two weeks ago, Martha's sister contacted me and asked if she and her husband could donate pink bandanas from the Susan J. Komen Foundation in Martha's honor to all of our students and staff. She, Martha's husband, and daughter had all been training to do this 3 day Walk for the Cure. Martha has an incredible blog where she has been recording her journey for the past year. It is Celebrating Life, One Day at a Time.

We found out that the walkers would be walking across from our school again this year at the beginning of the race. So we encouraged all of the children and staff to wear pink. On Friday morning they were given the bandanas to wear and to wave. Many classes made banners of encouragement and we had names of some of the different teams flashing on our marquee along with words of encouragement.

Our students lined the sidewalk and fence inside the school and cheered and waved their bandanas as the walkers passed. I can tell you that it brought tears to many eyes, including mine!

Our students were out there for quite some time cheering and showing support. I know that many of their teachers discussed the importance of this walk.

So for a part of the morning last Friday, we didn't do any math or reading, writing or science. What we did is show our children what it means to support a cause that touches so many women and so many families. What we did was show children about caring, community, and encouragement. I believe that the children will remember being a part of this long after they forget about what they learned that day in math. I believe so strongly that if we don't have children share and be involved in activities like this, that it won't matter in the future how good they are in science or math. We must continue to teach the whole child about caring, citizenship, empathy, respect....

The Dali Lama said, "I pray for a more friendly, more caring, and more understanding human family on this planet. To all who dislike suffering, who cherish lasting happiness, this is my heartfelt appeal."

I pray for that, too. Once again, I am so proud to be a part of a school community like Gilbert El!

Late Friday I received a call from my Aunt Teresa. She had just had a mammogram and she has to go in for a needle biopsy as soon as possible. The mammogram indicated that there is something in the place where she had breast cancer several years ago. At the time, it was a very treatable form and didn't require anything more than a lumpectomy and radiation. I hope and pray that this happening on the same day as this incredible event will be a good omen....

Happy Birthday, Lena!

Happy birthday to my cousin, Maria Elena O'Brien! Lena is the oldest of my Uncle Bill's seven children. Bill was my mom's little brother and my Godfather. Lena and her family live in San Francisco where she is a nurse. Mike, Lena's husband, is a San Francisco police officer. They have two wonderful children, Chris and Samantha. I have so enjoyed getting to know their two children as young adults.

When I think of Lena I think of someone with "quiet strength." I imagine that she is an incredible nurse. I know that her brothers and sisters rely on that strength.

I am sure that this birthday will be bittersweet for Lena because of the recent tragedy in our San Francisco family. I do know that she and Mike are a source of strength to Ana's family. I have been in contact with her quite often over the past two weeks.

I always so enjoy visiting and talking with Lena. She is a wonderful human being and I am proud to call her my cousin. Love you, Lena, and hope that you have a wonderful birthday today. Hope to see you soon!

I found this quote about cousins that I really like:

"Cousins share that unique and special relationship that combines friend and family--a bond that is at the same time supportive and enduring. The woman who shares her life with a cousin like you is blessed."

I know that I feel blessed......

Reflections on Steven Patrick Dub and his Memorial Service

I have thought so much over the past few days about my wonderful cousin, Ana, her husband, Charlie, and their daughter, Madeline. I can't even imagine what they are going through with the loss of Steven in the tragic automobile accident.

Aunt Teresa and I left for San Francisco on Friday a week ago. Patrick came on Saturday and Kerri, Cameron, and Judy arrived on Sunday. We have so many family members in the bay area and they were all there for support. Family and friends were in and out of the house for most of the hours of the day.

Monday was the visitation at the mortuary. I don't think that I have ever seen so many people at a visitation. Steven had so many friends. Several of them went up and spoke about what a good friend Steven was, how he would always help the underdog, and how fun loving he was.

Tuesday was the funeral at St. Veronica's Catholic Church. This is the parish where the Dubs belong and St. Veronica's School is where Steven attended elementary school. We went to the mortuary before the funeral Mass and then drove to the church. When we turned onto the street where the church is located, all of the school children were standing on both sides of the street holding hands as an honor guard. I can tell you that touched me so much!!

The church was very full and the Mass was beautiful. His cousins and aunts and uncles led prayers, did readings, and presented the gifts. Steven's cousins, Samantha and Christopher, did a beautiful eulogy of Steven's life. It was touching and funny and spoken from their hearts. They did a fabulous job. I know how difficult doing this is. Steven's Uncle Mike is a San Francisco police officer. He arranged for bagpipers to be there. This was also very beautiful and touching.

Steven loved baseball, in particular the Oakland A's. His cousins sent a flowers with the A's colors and there was also an arrangement made to look like a baseball. Many people wore A's caps.

One of Steven's cousins, Brendan, was not able to be there as he had just started Marine basic training. He, along with Patrick, were honorary pall bearers. I know that this has to be a very difficult time for Brendan being alone in San Diego.

After the Internment at Holy Cross Cemetery, a reception was held at the parish hall. So many of Steven's friends were there. The common thread continued about Steven's unconditional gift of friendship to so many people.

We all left to come home on Wednesday. All of us will be back to the every day living of our lives. Ana, Charlie, Madeline, and all of our San Francisco family will have to go on with the daily routines, but their lives will NEVER be the same. I can't even imagine.......

It is so hard to try to make sense of this tragedy and why it happened. And there is probably no answer to any of this. Steven Patrick Dub impacted many lives in his short time on earth.

I haven't spoken to Ana, but I have sent her a text several times to tell her that I am thinking of her.

On the back of the program from the Funeral Mass was this prayer:

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change......."

Hope Your Birthday is Great, Teresa Ann!

November 5th is the birthday of my cousin, Teresa Ann. Teresa is the youngest daughter of my mom's brother, Matt. Teresa grew up in Phoenix and is just a few years younger than I am.

Teresa and her husband, Donald, have six children. Most of the time when they were raising their children, they lived in Georgia. The last several years have been spent in California. Four of their children were already grown up when they moved to California and stayed in the Atlanta area.

Over the last several years, I have gone to the weddings of four of her children. Sarah and Ian were married in Savannah, Georgia; Allyson and Jayson and Scott and Becca were married in Atlanta. Last August, we went to New York for Justin's and Charlotte's wedding. All of the weddings were awesome and I had a wonderful time.

Sarah, Allyson, Scott and Justin are all University of Georgia graduates. Brett attends Georgia right now and Kate is the lone Californian at San Diego State. Their family are absolutely die hard Georgia Bulldogs!!!

Teresa and Don are also blessed with three beautiful grandchildren.

I have two favorite memories of when we were little kids. Teresa's brother, Eddie, became a priest in about 1956. He came to Douglas to say his first mass. A family friend took home movies of everyone coming out of the church. Teresa Ann and I would come out holding hands and grinning and go to the side door of the church and come out again. We did this over and over again--there were the two of us about every five people. I would love to show that old movie to her kids.

On another occasion, Teresa and her family were in Douglas. She and I both had the same hair cut, color, etc. One of the kids saw her from the back and thought it was me and called my name. I think Teresa may have been about four or five, but she immediately replied that she wasn't Sheila, she was Tweela Ann! I think her kids call her that sometimes!!!

This past weekend, Teresa and five of her children were in San Francisco to support our cousins there. I can tell you that Teresa is a very generous person!

So, Teresa, I hope you have a great day today. You share it with Patrick!! Happy Birthday, Tweela Ann!!!!!