Eulogy for Barb

“What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us.”  This quote is from Helen Keller and certainly sums up how we feel about our dear friend, Barb O’Fallon.  She has truly become a part of us in so many ways and our love for her is deep.

I first met Barb in the early 1990s when she was a parent and I was the principal at Gilbert El.   Sean and Kelly were students and she was a very involved parent.  She became our PTSO president and I will always remember her coming in to help or run things off and Ryan was always with her as he wasn’t in school yet.   She was such a great parent to work with and she truly cared and supported her kids and Gilbert El. 

After Ryan went to school, Barb decided to go back to work.  We had an opening for an office assistant/instructional assistant in January, 1994.  I hired her and soon after had an  opening for school secretary (they are now called, administrative assistant).  There was no doubt in my mind that she was the best candidate for that position.   And I can truly say, 25 years later, that she was the best of the best.

Barb quickly became an integral part of Gilbert El.  I feel that I had a very successful career and absolutely believe that she was one of the reasons for that.   She treated everyone so incredibly well.  She always had a smile on her face—no matter what!  And she truly loved our children, families and staff. That was what was most important to me.  

But the added bonus we got with Barb, was her smarts and her ability to do the budget, as well as many other important tasks.   Budgeting was my greatest weakness and she kept me in line.   If it  hadn’t been for Barb, we would have probably been out of money by November because I always wanted to give anyone anything they wanted when they asked.  However, I was able to “blame” Barb.  Many of you will remember how many times I had to tell you that I had to grovel to Barb to get any money!  It was true!

Through the years, we had many different programs on our campus to help our community.  I remember the look that I got from her when I let another one in.  I knew that soon I would get the visit and the budget lecture from her!  Sheila, she would say, I know all of these are important to you, but remember when we have all of these extra people on our campus, that means we need more toilet paper and paper towels!  I told her I knew that but to please make it work.  And she did.  For that I will ever be grateful.  And I will always remember with a smile what I call, “THE TOILET PAPER LECTURE!”

Through the years we worked together, we became very close. I knew I could count on her for anything.  I also knew how much she loved so many people.  I remember her talking about her grandparents, Big Mama and Big Daddy.  How she loved them.  I remember when her parents moved to Arizona and how thrilled she was to have them here. She would always tell me about the fun times they had together. I remember all of the times that Steve came by school and how much she loved him.  They had a special relationship.  And of course, she was an amazing parent to Sean, Kelly and Ryan and was always proud of them.  In the later years, her grandchildren were what she cherished so much.

We went through so many things together. We had so many wonderful events happen, but we also had more than our share of sad times. We laughed a lot about different situations that happened and she was there to support me in times of sadness.  I rarely closed my office door, but once in awhile, I needed a few minutes to myself.   One of the most memorable times that  meant more to me than anything was a little over 16 years ago.   Our wonderful teacher, Ellen Widmer, was not doing well and was no longer working.  Barb came in to tell me that Ellen was on the phone to talk to me.   I took the call and then shut my door so I could fall apart for a few minutes.  Ellen had called and asked me if I would do her eulogy at her funeral as she knew she didn’t have much longer on this earth.  Barb always respected me but that day she came into the office because she knew that call was probably something very difficult for me.  I told her what had happened and she hugged me and we talked and cried for a time.   Never did I think that I would be standing up here in front of you doing the same thing for Barb 16 years later almost to the day.

Barb meant so much to so many people through the years because of the way she treated them.   I have received so many messages this week from different people who knew her who spoke of her warmth and kindness, her smile and hugs.

I asked a few students if they would share some things about Barb because she was all about our kids.  Here is what I received from three students.

From Avery O’Shea

Miss Barb was a great office helper.  She was funny, full of energy and worked happily.  I loved working on Brain Food with her.

From Brian Jones

Every day Miss Barb greeted me with a Good Morning, Brian.  I worked with her as an office helper and on Tiger T.V.  I felt important to her but I know she liked everybody.

From Elizabeth Romero

Miss Barb was fun to work with as an office helper.  She knew my name and smiled.  She was very responsible.  I don't have specific memories just all good memories.  She will be missed.

And from Adrianna Cooper

Mrs. Barb was special to me because she always made my day no matter what I was feeling. The thing that I remember about her is that she always had a smile on her face and said have a great day!

These students sum up how so many of us feel about Barb and what a difference she made to so many of us on a daily basis.  What a legacy she has left when so many students loved her so much!

My favorite book of all time is The Last Dance by Carmen Agra Deedy.  In the story that grandfather tells his grandchildren that every human being has the right to three things:

“To Dance. The great things in life is not so much to dance well, but whether one is willing to dance at all.”

To Sing. Even if you sing off-key.  The crow has as much right to a voice as the nightingale.  (And we all know this is very true about Barb after many karaoke night staff parties at Shenanigans.)

To Tell Stories.  Those we love are never really gone as long as their stories are told.

Barb’s stories will live on in the many lives that she has touched through the years. They will live on in the love she had for Steve.    They will live on in her three children, Sean, Kelly and Ryan, their families,  and in her beloved grandchildren.  Barb’s stories include kindness, acceptance, love, and laughter and that is what we need more of in this world.

The great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh, once said, “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying good-bye so hard.”  I concur with Winnie the Pooh. How lucky are  we all that we have had Barb  in our lives that makes saying good-bye so hard.    Our lives are better because of our dear friend, Barb.  She will be greatly missed by so many!  

So God Speed to you, our dear friend, Barb.  Until we meet again, your stories will always be with us!  Thank you for being who you were and for truly making a difference in so many lives, especially mine!

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