Some Difficult News

I just want to share some issues I am having with my health once again.  I had a scan last February which came out clear.  I had another one done about two weeks ago and it is not very good news.   Dave and I saw Dr. Bhoola last Tuesday.  I had seen the results of the scan and new that it was not good.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t good news.  The cancer has returned.  It is interesting in that endometrial cancer goes to other organs but is still endometrial cancer.  Because it was in the lymph nodes to begin with, this has always been a possibility.  The lungs are usually one of the first places it goes.  That is what has happened to me along with some in the liver. I have in the past responded very well to the different kinds of treatment.  The last one I had I did well in terms of the cancer part, but unfortunately I got every bad side effect that can happen.  We stopped it and I won’t take it again as it is not a quality of life.
 
Dr. Bhoola went over several different options of things that can be tried and we talked about quality of life—not quantity.  The first is to do nothing other than what is needed to be comfortable.  And for Dave and I and my family and friends to enjoy life.  I actually feel fine.  However, doing nothing will just mean it continues to progress.
 
He gave me several other options.  Although I was prepared for this, it was a lot of information so I honestly don’t remember what they all are.  I trust him implicitly and don’t feel I could have found any other doctor or facility that I would get the care I have gotten and importantly to me, the way that I am treated by the entire staff every time I go in there.
 
So I asked him what his recommendation would be. What I also admire about him is that he is into you as a “whole” person and is not trying to push all kinds of treatments to keep you alive because he is a doctor.   He is realistic which I agree with.
 
His suggestion is that I get a biopsy done so they can determine the molecular make up of it.  He then wants me to go to the Virginia Piper cancer center here in the valley.  They apparently are doing some really great research on endometrial cancer.  It is the least researched of any other kind of cancer and is the largest cancer diagnosis for women over 60.   (I guess us old ladies are expendable!). They have several trials going on right now that hopefully I can qualify for.  As with anything, it is a trial which means there are no guarantees and they are gathering information on the research they are doing.  He also knows that I am not willing to go through something that greatly reduces the quality of life.   I should be scheduled for the biopsy in the next week or so.  In the meantime, he is putting me on three different meds that don’t have horrible side effects.  I don’t have them yet but should by the end of the day today other than one that has to come from a specialized pharmacy. 
 
So as of right now, Dave and I talked and I am going to give it a try with the understanding that I can stop at any time if it becomes too much.  We will continue to do what we do and live our lives to the fullest as long as I can.
 
We want to go to Montana for the summer, but I worry about the quality of medical care there. He has a friend who did her internship with him who practices in Bozeman which is close to Butte. He intends to get me in with her while we are in Montana.  That was a huge relief to me.
 
Although this is not good news at all, I do see many positives.  I feel good other than some pain but I have good meds for that.  And the ability to be able to hopefully participate in some trials.   I know of several people who have been in a way worse condition than me who have had trials work for them.  It is worth a try because science has come so far and continues to make wonderful progress day by day.   I look at what they did the with COVID vaccine and how quickly they were able to get that going and look at the lives it saved.
 
I am at peace with this even though it is not good news. I have no control over any of it.  I only have control over how I handle it.  We intend to do as much as we can for as long as we can and live our lives to the fullest.  I can talk about this, but sometimes telling the story over and over again is hard and exhausting,  I appreciate those of you who have kept in touch with me and checked on me more than you know.  As I put the FU in FUn, I plan on continuing that as much as possible.   And don’t forget we have lots of room in Montana!  Our only issue right now is not being able to make hard plans.  We will have to do some things at the spur of the moment, etc.
 
I would appreciate prayers, positive thoughts, dancing in the nude at midnight or whatever “floats your boat” so to speak!  My philosophy has always been that life is about living and the way you treat others as being the most important qualities that you can have.  It doesn’t matter what your belief system is, it is how you live your life!  I have always lived my life to the fullest and continue to do so for as long as I can and hope that one of the trials will possibly work for me.  But as I said, I have no control over any of that so whatever happens is what is meant to be.
 
I have been blessed with so many wonderful family members and friends in my life.  I don't know how this all will play out, but it's probably not going to be what I would like.  I am still waiting to hear about the trial.  I had biopsies on Friday and they need that information to determine if anything would work.  I intend to start writing more about the journey that I have been on.   For the most part, the past three years have been good.   Treatment hasn't been fun, but it has been tolerable.   

So stay tuned...

Letter to President Biden

 I just sent this to President Biden.   I am not sure that he will ever read it, but it meant a lot to me to be able to send it.  Here's hoping.

 

 

 

Dear President Biden,

 

I am writing this letter to you and I realize that you may never see it as you have so much on your plate all of the time, but especially right now.

 

I live in Arizona and come from an Irish/Catholic family who lived on the Mexican border from about 1903.   Our family have been dedicated Democrats forever.      I currently serve on the Governing Board of the Gilbert Unified School District. 

 

The reason I am writing this letter is to tell you about something that happened when you were in Arizona recently.  My dear cousin, Margaret Scott Gabaldon, died and we had her funeral on the day you came to dedicate John McCain’s Library at Arizona State University.

 

Margaret was married to Tony Gabaldon who was a Democrat and served many years in the Arizona State Senate until his death in 1998. Margaret was a rabid Democrat who was very involved in Democratic politics in the state.  She always made sure that people knew that first she was a Catholic, second she was a Democrat, and third that she was an Arizona State University fan.

 

At the end of her funeral mass at St. Mary’s Basilica in Phoenix, our family and everyone in attendance were standing in the front of the church.  Everyone was cheering and waving and it turned out it was you and your motorcade  going by right at that moment.  This could not have been scripted any better.  You may not remember, but you were also waving back.  Margaret would have been so happy that her funeral ended with you passing by.  I can speak for myself and many members of our family that this was such an incredible way to send her off. 

 

I truly hope that someone who reads this, lets you know how much this meant to all of us.   We support you and all that you stand for and thank you for your service to our country and all of your work to preserve our democracy.  You are truly a good man, President Biden, and I am proud of all that you do.

Yaya Remembered

 

On Thursday we had the funeral mass for Yaya.  It was absolutely beautiful.  It was everything she would have loved.

Many of our cousins were able to attend which was so nice.  It was great to visit with them even under these sad circumstances. 

The best thing happened at the end of the mass.  After her casket was taken out of St. Mary's Basilica, there were a lot of people standing on the balcony overlooking the street and waving.  There was a motorcade going by and it was President Biden, who was speaking in Tempe.  He was waving to everyone and they were waving back. It couldn't have been more fitting for this to happen at the end of Yaya's funeral.  She was a Democrat through and through and made sure that everyone knew it.  It was so cool!

I was able to say a few words in honor of my wonderful cousin, Yaya.   Here is what I said:

As I sat down to try to write about Yaya, I knew that I couldn’t begin to put down in words what she meant to so many of us.   She was so loved  for many different reasons.

She had integrity, empathy, kindness and she was FUN to be with.  Her sense of humor was second to none.

I know that Yaya spent time in Douglas when she was young but I don’t have many memories of that because she was 12 years older than me.  I know that my mom and Teresa dearly loved her.  They always described her as “feisty” which she certainly was.   I remember hearing stories about her biting and how they couldn’t take her places, especially the dentist, because of this bad habit.  My earliest memory was running up the steps in Douglas as fast as I could so she wouldn’t pinch my butt!  Unfortunately, I wasn’t always fast enough.

The best childhood memories were of going to California and meeting all of the Sacramento cousins, Phoenix cousins and various friends and visiting both Eddie and Yaya.  She was becoming a nun and was in Montecito and Eddie was at the Mission in Santa Barbara.  It was hard for me to imagine that angelic nun biting and pinching, but it was TRUE!

I would be up here for hours if I talked about all of the memories from our years in Phoenix after she and Tony were married.  They were the absolute best of times!

We had season tickets for ASU football games thanks to our Aunt Teresa.  Yaya was such a die hard ASU fan and our seats were in a section where they sold tickets to the opposing team.  I think ASU would have rethought that if they had known Yaya.  She cheered over the opposing fans—ASU, ASU. I can still hear her.  But probably the best memory was her throwing ice or popcorn down on people who were cheering for the other team.  They would turn around and look and of course no one every suspected Yaya who was sitting there innocently with her hands across her lap or she would be looking behind her to try to see who the culprit was and throw them off.   I think they thought it was Cecilia and I. 

During summers, I loved going with Tony and Yaya all over northern Arizona campaigning for Democratic candidates and helping them cook the wonderful Mexican food that Tony was famous for.   Tony was a politician through and through and could tell stories and entertain people for hours.  Yaya was the perfect politician’s spouse and was always so supportive.  I learned a lot about what a good marriage is watching those two interact.

On a professional level, Yaya helped me institute several programs when I was a principal.  I was able to send teachers to observe her classroom at Herrera and she was always available to assist my teachers.   I appreciated her love of teaching and understood the importance of literacy so much. 

I could go on and on to describe what an incredible life she led, how much she meant to so many people, and what a joy she was to be around.

Tomorrow night after she is laid to rest next to her beloved Tony in Flagstaff, the beautiful statue of Our Lady of the Rockies in Butte, Montana where Dave and I have a home, will be lit in Memory of Yaya.  Our Lady of the Rockies is a statue that is dedicated to women of all denominations everywhere.  However, it is still “Catholic” and that makes Yaya’s dedication even more meaningful.  Here is what the newspaper will publish about the lighting.

In loving memory of Margaret Gabaldon who left this world a better place on Sept. 24, 2023 in Phoenix, Arizona.   She was a beloved sister, aunt, cousin , step mother, grandmother, friend and educator and she will be dearly missed.  Love, Sheila and Dave Uggetti and Judy and Ken Engel

Yaya, you were one of a kind and we are all better people for having you in our lives.  In the words of Bob Hope, “Thanks for the memories……..” Memories that will be forever cherished!

 

Wonderful Memories

Judy and I just got back from visiting Yaya.   She is in a group home like my mom and Teresa were.  It was a very nice place as most of the ones like that are.  I believe it is so much better than a nursing home.  

She looked fairly good.  She knew us, but she has a hard time talking (or I should say it is very hard to hear her as her voice is so faint.)  She was sitting in a lounge chair.  Cecilia, Annie and Mark were there and we visited with them, but she didn't really participate in any of the conversation.  

I have so many wonderful memories from childhood through adulthood of Yaya.   She is like an older sister to me.  I remember when we were young and we would go to California to visit she and her brother Eddie.  Yaya was becoming a nun near Santa Barbara when Eddie was becoming a priest there.   I also remember when I was really young and she would spend time in Douglas during the summer.

But the best memories have been throughout my adulthood.  We had so many great times through the years with she, Tony and the rest of the Phoenix cousins.

For many years, we had ASU season tickets.  Tailgating was always fun with the family.  Yaya is a rabid ASU fan and would often throw popcorn at people below us who were rooting for the other team.  They would turn around and look and of course, no one guessed it was her because she had the angelic look!   

Through the years we spent most holidays with all of them.  My best memories were of all of the New Years Eve celebrations.  I would always stay with Yaya and Tony.   We had so much fun and I dearly love her.

 Yaya is one of the best people I know and I am proud to be her cousin.  

National Dog Day

 

Yesterday was National Dog Day.  Last Thursday was a week ago that we lost our wonderful, gentle pug, Seamus.  It has been a hard week.  I miss him so much.   Losing Diego in January and then Seamus last week, has made it a rough year.  I have always loved all of our dogs.  However, these two were very special to me for different reasons.  I wrote about Diego when he died and I did a bit on Seamus last week.  

I was thinking about what Seamus has meant to me the last two years when I was undergoing cancer treatment.  I'm not sure that a dog can have empathy, but I am absolutely positive that Seamus did.  During my worst days, he was by my side in bed with me.  It was as though he knew that I was really sick.  He was always gentle and never "intruded."  He was just there with me 24/7.  I will always remember that.

When he got sick and was gone within two hours, it was so difficult.  However, he did not suffer and he was in bed with me.  As always, he was by my side, even in his last few hours.

He had a great life. The previous week we took him with us to Maura and Chuck's cabin.  He was able to roam around.  He even went on our side by side ride to the top of the mountain.  As always, he was so good and never caused any problems.

Seamus, thank you for being my loyal companion and for being with me through some of the darkest and roughest days these past two years.  You were truly a gift and I was blessed.

Seamus Uggetti--Our Eagle Scout Pug

Last night was a very sad night in our home. Our wonderful pug Seamus, died. He had been fine all day but got sick after he ate his dinner. Around 8 he was gone when I checked up on him. Almost every pet we have had the choice to put them down. Not that it is ever easy, but this was so unexpected.

Seamus was the last of the pugs with a connection to our Aunt Teresa and my time in Douglas. That alone is difficult.

Those of you who knew Seamus would all say he was the sweetest dog ever. When Dave came into my life, Seamus took to him. Every night he sat on his lap.

I always said that Seamus was an Eagle Scout Pug because he always followed the rules, just like Dave.

Our Griff, as wild as he is, knew something was wrong last night and was so subdued.

We just got back from taking him to the vet. Pets are so important in our lives and I would not want to change anything ever. Seamus was a gentle soul who loved unconditionally. We will greatly miss him,

He loved being in Montana. He could run freely on our property and always did. He enriched our lives immensely. I'm not sure what I am going to do without a pug!!!

 

John Henry Nitcy - August 26, 1959 - January 14, 2023

 

Last weekend Dave and I drove to Sandpoint, Idaho to attend the Celebration of Life for John.  Dave and John taught together at Sandpoint High School and continued to be good friends.  John came to Arizona and stayed with us several times as well as staying here in Butte.   We visited them at their home in Idaho.  John and Leana are two of the nicest people I know.  Leana wasn't retired yet so John visited us by himself.  He and Dave golfed, went to the Phoenix Open (Waste Management) and we went to some sporting events.

I felt like I had known John for a long time.  I loved his sense of humor.  At the service, that was brought up many times by the friends who spoke.  

John was a respected educator and had so many friends.  He touched the lives of the students he taught.  Just talking to John, you knew that.

He loved sports but his favorites were fishing and duck hunting.  He had his priorities straight in that he wanted to have time to be able to do what he loved so he didn't do a lot of coaching or after school activities to make time for what he loved.

Dave was really sad about John's death.  He got sick and didn't live for very long.  I remember the day that he told Dave that he didn't have much longer.

Dave spoke at the service about his friendship with John and his visits to Arizona.   Here is what we wrote.

John and I taught and coached together for many years.  We had some great times when we were both single.  I'll save those stories for anyone who wants to come up and ask me later!

John came to visit Sheila and I in Arizona a few years ago.  We had tickets to the Arizona State vs. Arizona basketball game.  Sheila is a die hard ASU fan and informed John that if he wanted to stay at our house, he had to root for the Sun Devils.  Otherwise, there is a Motel 6 down the street where he could stay. 

We went to the game and John got to witness first hand Sheila at an ASU game.  She is always in top form when they play the Wildcats.   I think that John was probably in a little bit of shock, but he rooted for the Devils and didn't have to stay at Motel 6!  Fortunately, ASU beat Arizona or things might have gone down hill after the game!

The next day we took John up to a small mining town named Globe.  They have a very nice Indian casino there where we spent a few hours gambling.  We were having lunch and as happened often with John and I, the talk turned to sports.  My favorite professional football team are the Seahawks and Sheila likes the Cardinals.  However, she doesn't threaten Motel 6 when it comes to any other teams.  Sheila asked John while we were discussing this what his favorite professional football team was.  Without hesitation, John responded very emphatically--my favorite team is the ARIZONA STATE SUN DEVILS!  Needless to say, Sheila loved John from that day on!

We loved having John visit us in both Arizona and Butte.  He was such a great friend to me.  His fun sense of humor was a huge part of who John was.  I miss our talks, visits, and our friendship.  Thank you, John.  You were truly one of the good guys in this world!