Ms. Montana Anne Uggetti AKA Mona (For the time being!)

 

When one retires, it is vacation 24/7 with so many choices of causes to get involved with etc. Then because of the “aging” process, sometimes a social life is controlled by doctor appointments! We usually are in Montana by now but we have had to make sure many doctors can make their well deserved salaries! So we are still on hold as to when we will get up to Butte. My little puggy hasn’t been there yet. But she is named Ms. Montana Anne Uggetti also known as Mona. I told her that we may soon have to change her name if we can’t get up there. So Ms. Montana may become Ms. Arizona Anne Uggetti also known as Zona!!!!

The Waiting Game and Other Miscellaneous Feelings

 Probably one of the hardest parts of this "journey I didn't want to be on" is the waiting game.   When I was first diagnosed, my reaction to waiting is far different from what it is today.   For the most part, I have been fortunate to get into different appointments fairly quickly.  However, there are times when I have to wait on scans, visits to other specialists, etc. don't happen overnight.  It has been almost three years since I found out that I had cancer.  The first year I was a mess emotionally if I didn't get in to an appointment right away.   That has completely changed.   I think it must have to do with acceptance.  I now know what I am dealing with and the fact that it is something that there might be answers to and there might not be.  As I said before,  no matter what happens I want a quality of life so that Dave and I can enjoy living our lives like we have since I met him.  In addition, I want to be able to do things with my family and live as full of a life as possible.  I mostly feel good.  I have a few not so great days here and there with pain but for the most part, it is controllable.   

With that being said, I am frustrated that I have had difficulties getting into Virginia Piper for any trials that I might qualify for.  I had biopsies done a little over a week ago, so they have the information that they need.  I have found that one has to advocate for yourself and I do.  I just got off the phone to let Dr. Bhoola's office know that the call I was supposed to get on Friday from Virginia Piper didn't happen.  I know how hard they have worked.

Over the weekend, I spoke with a lady in Florida who works for a cancer organization.  She does research on trials, where they are happening and the efficacy of them.  I was fortunate that my friend, Pam, was able to connect with Dr. Becky.  It was a good conversation and she said that what I am doing now is what all the research says can slow the progress of the "bad" stuff down.  I haven't had any side effects so that is good.  She also said that Arizona is way ahead of other states with trials for this kind of cancer which surprised me--not sure why but Arizona isn't usually ahead of the game in many areas.  She also explained why it is hard to get into places and it has to do with staffing.  It isn't so much the doctors, but nurses and other support people that there is a real shortage of.   I felt really good after talking to her.

I have found out the hard way that I have to be careful what and how I share this "journey" with others.  For the most part, everyone has been incredibly supportive in so many ways.  I am so lucky to have people check in on me just to see how I am.  That means more than I can ever express.

However, there are a few friends who never ask how I am doing and these are good friends.  I don't think they are being mean, but more an avoidance of bad news.  I remember having a couple of dear friends who fought cancer and lost through the years.  I didn't ever want to hear that things weren't going well for them because they meant so much to me.  Selfishly, I didn't want to lose them.  But I had to put those feelings aside because they were more important than me.  

The other one that has blown me away are the few people who aren't supportive of my choices for treatment and even say things.  I have learned to just not tell them much--just the superficial stuff.  I guess that is my avoidance, but this is a very personal choice.  It is also very hurtful.   Facing your own mortality is difficult enough without criticism.   

We have a hard time making plans very far in advance which mainly has to do with doctor appointments and changes in treatment.  It has been interesting when this has happened and people aren't understanding of why we can't make those plans.  I know that they are upset when all of a sudden after hearing from them a couple of times a day, I hear nothing and a few other things which are obvious.  Oh well, I can't do anything about that but protect myself which I will do.

However, these are few and far between.  It just has been difficult because some of these people have been some of my dearest friends through the years.  I have learned that everyone handles things differently and I don't and can't change that.  Once again, the only thing I can do is take care of myself.

I haven't written much on my blog about things, even the good stuff.  I do that with Facebook.   But from now on I am going to try to write more here.  It is easier to find and hopefully my family will have my words down the road about this "journey I didn't ever want to be on."

A Sense of Humor

 I have found through the years that a sense of humor is probably on of the MOST important “qualities” one can have to survive in this world. I always try to find the humor is most things and it has served me well. Laughing is such a good way to release pent up emotions. Today I had an appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at my oncologist’s office. I really like her and have spent way too much time with her these past few years. She was having their new NP shadow her. These appointments can be very tense, but I found a couple of things to laugh about. My NP told the new one, “Sheila is a closet bad girl!” I think that is one of the best compliments I’ve ever had!

Some Difficult News

I just want to share some issues I am having with my health once again.  I had a scan last February which came out clear.  I had another one done about two weeks ago and it is not very good news.   Dave and I saw Dr. Bhoola last Tuesday.  I had seen the results of the scan and new that it was not good.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t good news.  The cancer has returned.  It is interesting in that endometrial cancer goes to other organs but is still endometrial cancer.  Because it was in the lymph nodes to begin with, this has always been a possibility.  The lungs are usually one of the first places it goes.  That is what has happened to me along with some in the liver. I have in the past responded very well to the different kinds of treatment.  The last one I had I did well in terms of the cancer part, but unfortunately I got every bad side effect that can happen.  We stopped it and I won’t take it again as it is not a quality of life.
 
Dr. Bhoola went over several different options of things that can be tried and we talked about quality of life—not quantity.  The first is to do nothing other than what is needed to be comfortable.  And for Dave and I and my family and friends to enjoy life.  I actually feel fine.  However, doing nothing will just mean it continues to progress.
 
He gave me several other options.  Although I was prepared for this, it was a lot of information so I honestly don’t remember what they all are.  I trust him implicitly and don’t feel I could have found any other doctor or facility that I would get the care I have gotten and importantly to me, the way that I am treated by the entire staff every time I go in there.
 
So I asked him what his recommendation would be. What I also admire about him is that he is into you as a “whole” person and is not trying to push all kinds of treatments to keep you alive because he is a doctor.   He is realistic which I agree with.
 
His suggestion is that I get a biopsy done so they can determine the molecular make up of it.  He then wants me to go to the Virginia Piper cancer center here in the valley.  They apparently are doing some really great research on endometrial cancer.  It is the least researched of any other kind of cancer and is the largest cancer diagnosis for women over 60.   (I guess us old ladies are expendable!). They have several trials going on right now that hopefully I can qualify for.  As with anything, it is a trial which means there are no guarantees and they are gathering information on the research they are doing.  He also knows that I am not willing to go through something that greatly reduces the quality of life.   I should be scheduled for the biopsy in the next week or so.  In the meantime, he is putting me on three different meds that don’t have horrible side effects.  I don’t have them yet but should by the end of the day today other than one that has to come from a specialized pharmacy. 
 
So as of right now, Dave and I talked and I am going to give it a try with the understanding that I can stop at any time if it becomes too much.  We will continue to do what we do and live our lives to the fullest as long as I can.
 
We want to go to Montana for the summer, but I worry about the quality of medical care there. He has a friend who did her internship with him who practices in Bozeman which is close to Butte. He intends to get me in with her while we are in Montana.  That was a huge relief to me.
 
Although this is not good news at all, I do see many positives.  I feel good other than some pain but I have good meds for that.  And the ability to be able to hopefully participate in some trials.   I know of several people who have been in a way worse condition than me who have had trials work for them.  It is worth a try because science has come so far and continues to make wonderful progress day by day.   I look at what they did the with COVID vaccine and how quickly they were able to get that going and look at the lives it saved.
 
I am at peace with this even though it is not good news. I have no control over any of it.  I only have control over how I handle it.  We intend to do as much as we can for as long as we can and live our lives to the fullest.  I can talk about this, but sometimes telling the story over and over again is hard and exhausting,  I appreciate those of you who have kept in touch with me and checked on me more than you know.  As I put the FU in FUn, I plan on continuing that as much as possible.   And don’t forget we have lots of room in Montana!  Our only issue right now is not being able to make hard plans.  We will have to do some things at the spur of the moment, etc.
 
I would appreciate prayers, positive thoughts, dancing in the nude at midnight or whatever “floats your boat” so to speak!  My philosophy has always been that life is about living and the way you treat others as being the most important qualities that you can have.  It doesn’t matter what your belief system is, it is how you live your life!  I have always lived my life to the fullest and continue to do so for as long as I can and hope that one of the trials will possibly work for me.  But as I said, I have no control over any of that so whatever happens is what is meant to be.
 
I have been blessed with so many wonderful family members and friends in my life.  I don't know how this all will play out, but it's probably not going to be what I would like.  I am still waiting to hear about the trial.  I had biopsies on Friday and they need that information to determine if anything would work.  I intend to start writing more about the journey that I have been on.   For the most part, the past three years have been good.   Treatment hasn't been fun, but it has been tolerable.   

So stay tuned...

Letter to President Biden

 I just sent this to President Biden.   I am not sure that he will ever read it, but it meant a lot to me to be able to send it.  Here's hoping.

 

 

 

Dear President Biden,

 

I am writing this letter to you and I realize that you may never see it as you have so much on your plate all of the time, but especially right now.

 

I live in Arizona and come from an Irish/Catholic family who lived on the Mexican border from about 1903.   Our family have been dedicated Democrats forever.      I currently serve on the Governing Board of the Gilbert Unified School District. 

 

The reason I am writing this letter is to tell you about something that happened when you were in Arizona recently.  My dear cousin, Margaret Scott Gabaldon, died and we had her funeral on the day you came to dedicate John McCain’s Library at Arizona State University.

 

Margaret was married to Tony Gabaldon who was a Democrat and served many years in the Arizona State Senate until his death in 1998. Margaret was a rabid Democrat who was very involved in Democratic politics in the state.  She always made sure that people knew that first she was a Catholic, second she was a Democrat, and third that she was an Arizona State University fan.

 

At the end of her funeral mass at St. Mary’s Basilica in Phoenix, our family and everyone in attendance were standing in the front of the church.  Everyone was cheering and waving and it turned out it was you and your motorcade  going by right at that moment.  This could not have been scripted any better.  You may not remember, but you were also waving back.  Margaret would have been so happy that her funeral ended with you passing by.  I can speak for myself and many members of our family that this was such an incredible way to send her off. 

 

I truly hope that someone who reads this, lets you know how much this meant to all of us.   We support you and all that you stand for and thank you for your service to our country and all of your work to preserve our democracy.  You are truly a good man, President Biden, and I am proud of all that you do.

Yaya Remembered

 

On Thursday we had the funeral mass for Yaya.  It was absolutely beautiful.  It was everything she would have loved.

Many of our cousins were able to attend which was so nice.  It was great to visit with them even under these sad circumstances. 

The best thing happened at the end of the mass.  After her casket was taken out of St. Mary's Basilica, there were a lot of people standing on the balcony overlooking the street and waving.  There was a motorcade going by and it was President Biden, who was speaking in Tempe.  He was waving to everyone and they were waving back. It couldn't have been more fitting for this to happen at the end of Yaya's funeral.  She was a Democrat through and through and made sure that everyone knew it.  It was so cool!

I was able to say a few words in honor of my wonderful cousin, Yaya.   Here is what I said:

As I sat down to try to write about Yaya, I knew that I couldn’t begin to put down in words what she meant to so many of us.   She was so loved  for many different reasons.

She had integrity, empathy, kindness and she was FUN to be with.  Her sense of humor was second to none.

I know that Yaya spent time in Douglas when she was young but I don’t have many memories of that because she was 12 years older than me.  I know that my mom and Teresa dearly loved her.  They always described her as “feisty” which she certainly was.   I remember hearing stories about her biting and how they couldn’t take her places, especially the dentist, because of this bad habit.  My earliest memory was running up the steps in Douglas as fast as I could so she wouldn’t pinch my butt!  Unfortunately, I wasn’t always fast enough.

The best childhood memories were of going to California and meeting all of the Sacramento cousins, Phoenix cousins and various friends and visiting both Eddie and Yaya.  She was becoming a nun and was in Montecito and Eddie was at the Mission in Santa Barbara.  It was hard for me to imagine that angelic nun biting and pinching, but it was TRUE!

I would be up here for hours if I talked about all of the memories from our years in Phoenix after she and Tony were married.  They were the absolute best of times!

We had season tickets for ASU football games thanks to our Aunt Teresa.  Yaya was such a die hard ASU fan and our seats were in a section where they sold tickets to the opposing team.  I think ASU would have rethought that if they had known Yaya.  She cheered over the opposing fans—ASU, ASU. I can still hear her.  But probably the best memory was her throwing ice or popcorn down on people who were cheering for the other team.  They would turn around and look and of course no one every suspected Yaya who was sitting there innocently with her hands across her lap or she would be looking behind her to try to see who the culprit was and throw them off.   I think they thought it was Cecilia and I. 

During summers, I loved going with Tony and Yaya all over northern Arizona campaigning for Democratic candidates and helping them cook the wonderful Mexican food that Tony was famous for.   Tony was a politician through and through and could tell stories and entertain people for hours.  Yaya was the perfect politician’s spouse and was always so supportive.  I learned a lot about what a good marriage is watching those two interact.

On a professional level, Yaya helped me institute several programs when I was a principal.  I was able to send teachers to observe her classroom at Herrera and she was always available to assist my teachers.   I appreciated her love of teaching and understood the importance of literacy so much. 

I could go on and on to describe what an incredible life she led, how much she meant to so many people, and what a joy she was to be around.

Tomorrow night after she is laid to rest next to her beloved Tony in Flagstaff, the beautiful statue of Our Lady of the Rockies in Butte, Montana where Dave and I have a home, will be lit in Memory of Yaya.  Our Lady of the Rockies is a statue that is dedicated to women of all denominations everywhere.  However, it is still “Catholic” and that makes Yaya’s dedication even more meaningful.  Here is what the newspaper will publish about the lighting.

In loving memory of Margaret Gabaldon who left this world a better place on Sept. 24, 2023 in Phoenix, Arizona.   She was a beloved sister, aunt, cousin , step mother, grandmother, friend and educator and she will be dearly missed.  Love, Sheila and Dave Uggetti and Judy and Ken Engel

Yaya, you were one of a kind and we are all better people for having you in our lives.  In the words of Bob Hope, “Thanks for the memories……..” Memories that will be forever cherished!

 

Wonderful Memories

Judy and I just got back from visiting Yaya.   She is in a group home like my mom and Teresa were.  It was a very nice place as most of the ones like that are.  I believe it is so much better than a nursing home.  

She looked fairly good.  She knew us, but she has a hard time talking (or I should say it is very hard to hear her as her voice is so faint.)  She was sitting in a lounge chair.  Cecilia, Annie and Mark were there and we visited with them, but she didn't really participate in any of the conversation.  

I have so many wonderful memories from childhood through adulthood of Yaya.   She is like an older sister to me.  I remember when we were young and we would go to California to visit she and her brother Eddie.  Yaya was becoming a nun near Santa Barbara when Eddie was becoming a priest there.   I also remember when I was really young and she would spend time in Douglas during the summer.

But the best memories have been throughout my adulthood.  We had so many great times through the years with she, Tony and the rest of the Phoenix cousins.

For many years, we had ASU season tickets.  Tailgating was always fun with the family.  Yaya is a rabid ASU fan and would often throw popcorn at people below us who were rooting for the other team.  They would turn around and look and of course, no one guessed it was her because she had the angelic look!   

Through the years we spent most holidays with all of them.  My best memories were of all of the New Years Eve celebrations.  I would always stay with Yaya and Tony.   We had so much fun and I dearly love her.

 Yaya is one of the best people I know and I am proud to be her cousin.