Saturday, August 1, 2015

An Amazing Conference and a Very Touching Moment!

I just attended the facilitators' training for the Family Leadership Institute that was done by my "shero"--Consuelo Castillo Kickbusch.   I have been involved in many programs over my 44 years in education, but I believe that FLI is the single best program that I have ever been a part of.   This program empowers parents to become leaders in their homes and in their communities.   

I have been to many, many conferences through the years, but I have never attended one that included parents as total equals or even that had many parents at the conference.   There were many parents attending this training, many of whom are first generation Americans and many who work as migrant workers in the fields of California and Washington.  There were also many educators from superintendents, to principals, to teachers, to attendance clerks.  Consuelo did the majority of the work for the four days that we were there.  And she is powerful.  It is hard to explain, but it is more than just an educational experience, it is also a spiritual experience.  As she often says, one has to get naked with their souls in order to move on.  And she talks about forgiveness.   I can't even begin to capture in words what this  experience was like.   And I am not going to try, but I am going to share something personal that happened to me that I will always cherish.

I got to Las Vegas Sunday afternoon and we had our opening session Sunday night.  Two administrators and two parents from Douglas also were there.   The first night, I was very uncomfortable because it brought back all of the awful negative issues that I dealt with because of trying to stand up for the parents in Douglas and involve and empower them.  I went through a lot from a few people who are so narrow minded that they can't see what a community needs in order to progress.   And they did everything to try to stop this program, but they weren't successful.    During these sad times I had a lot of support, but I did not have anyone step up to stop the insanity.   

When I left Douglas and moved back to Gilbert, I was able to put the pettiness and bullying behind me and I knew I would never have to deal with anything like this ever again.    The month of July has been such an enjoyable and relaxing month for me being away from the ugliness of a few.  

But Sunday night for some reason brought it back.  And the absolute hardest thing for me because of my passion for children, families and our schools, was that I wasn't able to continue to make changes for the betterment of that community.   I seriously thought about leaving the next day because of the feelings I was having.   I told Consuelo about it in the morning, but told her I was absolutely going to stay.

At one of the breaks, one of the Douglas parents was talking to me and she started to cry.  She told me that she was so sorry that she and the others didn't step up and try to stop the mean spirited people.  She said that she was apologizing to me for many, many people in the community.  She said that she has so many regrets now that I am gone. 

Later in the morning, we did an exercise and it turned into a true teachable moment for Consuelo.  We got into quite an emotional discussion from parents who don't feel that they are welcomed at their children's schools.   The parents were sharing it very emotionally and the educators were listening.  Consuelo has a magic way of turning something like this into an incredible opportunity.  There were many tears and much discussion about how this can be changed.  I truly believe that the educators in the room heard what the parents were saying and one of the things they were saying is that they don't feel as though they are listened to by the educators.

Several people went to the front of the room and shared and Consuelo brought parents and educators from the same district up to talk in front of everyone.  As I said, it was very emotional and very profound.

Then one of the parents from Douglas raised her hand and  said that she was listening to all of these parents saying that they aren't listened to, but that Douglas had an administrator who always listened and empowered them and they let her go.  She was crying as she talked about how I treated parents and gave them a voice that they had never had before, but no one stood up for me. She also said something that I will never forget and that was that she was raised in a single family home and when her father left, she felt abandoned.  And she said that is how she felt when I left.   I can hardly write this without getting teary. Consuelo had me come up and stand by the parent.  She asked if she could share what I told her about wanting to leave and I said absolutely.  So she did and she told everyone about the absolute ugliness that went on because I believed in FLI and I had to fight nasty people.   She gave some examples about what some did to try to destroy FLI.   Then she said that I still did my best to make sure it continued despite these few ugly people.    All of a sudden, everyone in the room stood up and started clapping.  It was unbelievable and I can't even begin to put in writing what it meant to me.

Many of the participants came up to hug me when we had a break, which we did right after this as it was so emotional.   

I know in my heart that I always did the best I could and always had the children as my first priority for the five years I was in Douglas.  It saddens me how a few people can do so much damage.  I tend to be an optimist and I think that will change in the future.   I think FLI is alive and well in Douglas and I think the parents will make sure that it continues.  And I believe with my entire being that it will make all of the difference for Douglas--not just the schools, but the entire community!   And there are so many great parents, educators, etc. in Douglas and I care very deeply for them and can only hope for the best for them.   And of course, the children of Douglas deserve the very best on a playing field that is not level in Arizona!

I am proud of this incredible program and I thank Consuelo for her passion and vision.  She is truly a servant leader and I admire her so much!   She is absolutely one of the most amazing leaders we have in this country today!

3 remarks:

Nancy Proffitt said...

WOW!!!!! Thanks for sharing that!

Cheela said...

From a Gilbert El parent:

I hadn't read your blog for a bit and read it this morning. I cried for what you went through, knowing full well that you are not afraid to passionately fight for your "kids"/parents and their needs. I am so glad that in God's perfect timing you received your validation and were able to feel the love this parent brought to you in representation of the others. I truly believe that God puts us where we need to be when we need to be there....Douglas surely received His blessing when He put you there.

Cheela said...

From another friend and colleague:

Oh WOW!! So often you never find out how you have made a difference. You have made a difference in a community where people didn't have a voice and hadn't been heard before. And because they were afraid, the loudmouths were the only ones with a voice....but now, the small quiet voice of reason may have a they never would have had before, and once people find their voice, it's hard to be quiet! You left Douglas and the schools in a much better place and now you know people really do appreciate it, even if they weren't able to say what they probably should have. But like Benjamin Franklin said....we are all born ignorant but one must work hard to remain stupid!! Only a few people in Douglas have worked that hard! I'm glad you may have had some closure and had the opportunity to really know....YOU MADE A DIFFERENCE!! And will continue to make a difference now that you are back!