Worrisome Week Waiting

The week and one day from the day I had surgery until I received the results from the doctor as to whether the cancer had spread and the stage was probably one of the worst periods of time in my life.  I was feeling good after the surgery.  I had no pain, just soreness.  After the awful pain that I had endured in the months prior, it was a relief.  I was actually able to sleep at night (sort of but the worrying interfered).  

I have never had such mood swings and poor Dave was the one who had to deal with me.  That is why it is important to me that he is able to continue to golf as that is something he absolutely loves. I had so many people checking on me plus Patrick was here. 

Of course, I imagined the worst.  The scary part for me is that I had no symptoms prior to the pain starting and so I had no idea how bad it might be.  The CT scan (which was done first) showed some thickening of the bladder wall but the MRI said it was normal aging. I was very worried that it had spread to the bladder.  But once again, I had no symptoms of any kind other than the awful pain.

Last Tuesday, Nov. 2, I got a call from Dr. Bhoola's nurse practitioner.  She gave me the results. It had not spread to any other organs but it was in some of the lymph nodes.  She said it was Stage 3.  I can't remember a lot of the conversation but I was actually relieved that it hadn't spread even though it is more aggressive than first thought.  I was scheduled for my follow-up appointment for Nov. 16 and she asked if I wanted to come in earlier.  I said "PLEASE!"  So she scheduled me for the next morning at 10:45.  I told her that when I went in the first time and had to go alone that it was very difficult to get that kind of news all alone.  She said that Dave could come with me which was a huge relief.

We met with Dr. Bhoola and he explained everything.  Right now I am cancer free. They were able to get everything. However, if I don't go through any treatment, there is a 90% chance that it will return somewhere else.  He said that he wants to do an aggressive treatment and it is statistically a 70% chance of it being completely gone.  However, he said he sees a higher percentage in his practice.  He talked about side effects and said that older people don't always have as many as younger for some reason.  I had a whole list of questions to ask him but he answered them before I could even ask them.  

The chemo will be every three weeks for six times.  It will last about five hours.  I will get one radiation treatment, I think after the third, and that will be done at MD Anderson.  All of the chemo will be done at his office.  He did tell me that I will start losing my hair after the first one and then after the second it will be gone. That really doesn't bother me.

I did ask him about continuing on the Board.  He knows how difficult it is to be on a school board right now.  He told me to follow my heart, stay active, and do what I felt was the best for me.  He also told me that they will be checking my blood regularly so if it looks like I shouldn't be going anywhere, he will tell me.

After we finished with Dr. Bhoola, his nurse practitioner spent a lot of time with us going over all kinds of things. She gave us a place to go to get a wig and a list of everything I will need in terms of over the counter meds, etc.  I did record both but haven't listened to them. 

I had some blood work done and then talked to the scheduler about getting the port put in, etc.  They had to submit everything to insurance before I can get started.

So another waiting game. He said I could get started this Wednesday.  However, they  can't schedule me until they get all of the insurance authorization taken care of.

After we left the doctor's office, we went to the wig store right down the street.  I am not much of a fashion plate and just wanted a wig that looked as much like how I wear my hair now.   I was able to get one and it is very nice.  Now I just hope I can put it on correctly.  

I called on Friday because (believe it or not) I am anxious to get started with this and get it behind me.  They still hadn't received the insurance clearance.   Saturday morning, I received a call from the insurance company saying that everything was approved through Nov. 2022.

I called the doctor's office today to see if they had the information and the wonderful young lady said she would talk to the person who does the authorizing and see what they could do.  I told her that I had received the call on Saturday.

Around 5:30 this evening, this delightful lady called me to tell me that everything was approved. She said that our state retirement insurance is AMAZING and that they will even pay for rides to and from chemo if I need it.  She also said that my years of service as an educator made me deserving to have such great insurance.  That meant a lot.

So hopefully I will be able to start this Wednesday.  Since it was after 5 when she called, she said someone would get in touch with me tomorrow.  I can do the first treatment without a port.

What a roller coaster ride this has been and know it will continue to be.  However, I feel absolutely positive that I am going to beat this.  I am in good health and I am a fighter.  

So many people have been so wonderful to us.  Between meals, texts, cards, phone calls, etc. I am so blessed in so many ways.  We have only cooked one night.  I am fairly sure that I won't be eating normally all of the time over the next weeks, but need to wait to see what my reaction is going to be.

It has been interesting to me to see how different people react to this kind of news.  Most have been wonderful, but others don't know what to say.  That is okay with me as everyone deals with issues differently.  I get that.

So tomorrow morning I am getting my hair  cut because that was suggested before it starts to fall out.  My hairdresser was wonderful and got me in right away.  We have a board meeting starting at 4 and it will be my first time out in public.  Of course, I will be wearing my mask and being extra careful.

DAMN COVID!  Not that there is ever a good time to get cancer, but with the lack of respect in our society for this and the risk of it spreading, makes these times that much more difficult.  I truly wish that everyone would continue to understand that it is still out there and be respectful by getting vaccinated and continue to wear masks  in public.  I have felt that way all along, however now that I am in this position, it really hits home.   I have to be extra careful. I read today that the Arizona Department of Health says that Arizona is the only state where COVID is the leading cause of death.  How sad is that!  

This is not political.  This is absolutely a health concern for every human, especially those of us who are dealing with what I am.

Enough of that.  We are being careful and will continue to do so.  I have every intention of being around for a long time--Dr. Bhoola said I should live into my 80's or 90's so I am not that easy to get rid of!!!

And once again, I can't begin to say how grateful I am to have Dave by my side.  He has been here to support me, put up with my ever changing moods, and be the kind and gentle human being that he is.  As long as he can golf, I am in good hands!!!!!

I don't know what I would do without Judy's support.  She is there every day for me, as is my cousin, Cecilia.  They are a blessing in my life.  Patrick has been a huge help and it is much appreciated.  

 "TO BE CONTINUED..."

The Scary "C" Word

Probably the scariest word for anyone to hear from a doctor, "the results of your biopsy shows that you have cancer."  Those were the words I received from my gynecologist a few weeks ago.  I have had no symptoms other than pain the lower abdomen.  Because I have had diverticulitis in the past, I assumed that was the problem.  I went to the doctor in July and again in August and was prescribed antibiotics.  Neither time did the antibiotics work so I made an appointment with a GI doctor who ordered a CT scan.  The CT scan showed some abnormalities in the bladder and the endometrial lining of the uterus.  He advised me to see a gynecologist and urologist.   

I made an appointment with my primary care doctor and took the CT scan into her.  She said she wanted me to get an MRI.  The results of the MRI indicated that a gynecologist was the best to see.  Since I am an "old lady" and my former gynecologist retired about the time I did, I do everything through my primary care doctor.

I had made an appointment with a gynecologist after some research about different ones, but like anything else, it takes time.  I happened to be talking to a friend who told me about her doctor and how one of my former Gilbert El parents worked for the practice.  

I texted the parent as she is a friend and she called me back in about an hour.  This was on Weds, Oct. 6.  She told me she went into work at  7 in the morning and would call me.  Around 7:30 she called and asked if I could be there at 9:00.  Of course I could!

This doctor (and my friend) was amazing.  We talked for a bit and she told me that she had one of my signs in her yard when I ran for the Governing Board in 2016.  She did a biopsy and called me the following Monday with the dreaded "C" word diagnosis.  She told me that she wanted me to see a certain doctor who is an oncologist/gynecologist.  She said she would go to him and have her mother and/or daughter go to him.

I called immediately and got in on Tuesday, October 19.  From everything I have heard, I am pretty fortunate to have these appointments happen so quickly.  

The sad part is that I had to go by myself to this appointment because of COVID and the lack of respect by so many people.  I asked our cousin, Maura, if she would be willing to be on the phone as she is a nurse.   She was and I will be forever grateful to her.

I love Dr. Bhoola.  His office is actually within walking distance of our house.  He is kind and thorough. He said the first thing he wanted to do was a complete hysterectomy and he scheduled it for the following Monday, Oct. 25, at Banner Desert.  Dave and I spent the next few days running back and forth to the hospital, etc. to get x-rays, bloodwork, insurance approval, etc. for the surgery on Monday.  I must say that everyone we dealt with was kind and compassionate.  In this day and with all that the medical profession has dealt with during this pandemic, that meant a lot.

Throughout this entire ordeal, I cannot say enough about the support I have had from Dave.  He has been my rock and has put up with my range of emotions with grace.  I am sure there were a few times he probably wanted to tell me a few choice words (that he never uses), but he didn't.  I love this man and although I certainly didn't want to have this journey, I am so thankful that he is here with me. 

Monday morning we had to be at the hospital for the surgery.  It was scheduled to be a DaVinci Robotic but depending on what they found, it could be an incision.  Fortunately, when I woke up, I only had four small incisions and no female organs left.  I felt good because the pain that I had been dealing with the few months before had been very difficult.   One funny thing that happened when I was being taken into the operating room--somehow the conversation came up about having a drink.  I told the nurses I don't drink tequila but there is a song called Tequila Sheila.  Hence their name for me during this time was "No Tequila Sheila!"  It was a lighter moment and I appreciated their humor.

I decided to come home even though I could have spent the night.  I wanted to be out of the hospital in my own bed.  I can honestly say that I had no pain, just soreness.  

Now was the worst part, in my opinion, and that was the waiting on the results as to whether or not the cancer had spread, etc.

That is another post in itself and I am going to save it for tomorrow.   I hope that being able to write about this will help me in this journey and one day I will be able to look back and read about it.  

Endometrial cancer's color is peach.  This print is the closest I could get to it.  One thing I did do was get my nails and toes done in peach.  I guess I am getting a bit superstitious in my old age.

TO BE CONTINUED........  I think that is going to be my new positive motto for everything---TO BE CONTINUED as that is how I am looking at all of this.

From a Former Student

During these unprecedented times when it seems okay for people to be not very nice to each other at  so many levels, I received this message from one of my former Gilbert El kiddos the other night.  She is an amazing young lady and always was.  The night she was approved as a new assistant principal in Gilbert, I asked our Board President if I could say something about her and how proud I was of her.  I meant every word.

Last week I received this from her and it made my day (week, month, etc.):

Hi Sheila. I hope I’m ok to do this, but I just had to reach out. I have been in GPS for either 1 month or since 2nd grade at Gilbert El, depending on when you start counting:). In that month I have been met with one positive encounter after another, each one providing more affirmation that I made the right choice. It was hard to leave a place I loved, but I know it was for a place I will come to love even more. I have been excited to make the drive to Gilbert and my Wildcat team every single day. So...thank you for building a foundation of compassion, community and a growth mindset even before someone made a million using the phrase. It all mattered and made me who I am. Please know I remember it ALL: your reading to us ALL the time, hands across the border, peer mediators, student council, dances and family nights, plays and field days, science camp and oceanography club. Those experiences created a curiosity and love for learning that has led me back to GPS. Thank you for EVERYTHING!

 

And just a little bit more:

 

I truly mean every single word. I love you dearly and am so thankful for the experiences you supported . It helped me take risks and try new things it made me believe I could because I was a TOP CAT. A few weeks ago I stood on the MHS stage at freshman orientation and said to the class of 2025 “this is the place that built me. “ I sat in a classroom in B building sophomore year while the entire class (and school) watched the footage of 9-11 unfolding in real time. I took my voter registration card to my Senior Government class after voting in 2002 election for the first time eve and got extra credit. I met my husband and beat friend while I was a student (he went to Mountain View) and he watched me walk across the stage at graduation. I am honored to be home and I didn’t even know that I wasn’t before this summer. Thank you for everything. I’m putting your number in my phone now. 

 

 

T

A Very Special Day--June 24, 2021

 

When Dave and I got married in May, 2018, we were not able to get married in the church because his marriage had not been annulled in the Catholic Church.  He had not started the process and we knew that it would take some time for this to happen.  We decided that didn't want to wait for that to happen to get married because of our ages.  My marriage was annulled in the 1980's so I was okay.

He went through the process that summer and had to get letters from people that knew him and about his first marriage.  I never mention his ex, but she told Dave that she would do everything to prevent him from getting married in the church (even though she doesn't go to church) and she did fight it.  However, we received the news that the marriage was annulled last fall. 

Dave spoke with the priest here in Butte and he suggested we contact the parish in Gilbert.  I was told that in order to get married in Gilbert, we would have to go through nine months of pre-counseling.  That wasn't really something we wanted to do.  So Dave called Father Haffey again and he said to just wait until we got here this summer and we could do it here in Butte.

Two weeks ago we met with Father for about 20 minutes.  We filled out paperwork and set the date for Thursday at 5:00 at St. Ann's here in Butte.  John Uggetti, Dave's cousin, is the Deacon at St. Ann's so he agreed to perform the ceremony.  Dave's cousins, Maura and Chuck, stood up for us.  We invited several of his family and a couple of good friends to celebrate with us.

After the ceremony, we had everyone join us for dinner at the Rib and Chop House where Dave proposed to me.  We had reservations and they gave us a separate room and even put on the Suns game (which didn't end well).  The service and the food was wonderful.  We had seventeen people join us and it was such a wonderful evening.   

We are blessed to have found each other so late in life and I am truly blessed to have found such a good man who treats me so well and loves me unconditionally (as long as he gets to golf when he wants)!

Happy Father's Day to Dave!

 

My kids have never had a father figure in their lives until Dave.  It didn't happen until they were grown up and in they were adults.  I know at first it was difficult because I had raised them on my own and had been divorced for 39 years.  Dave never had children, but his many years in education has been so important.  That and his inherent kindness and acceptance has been such a blessing in my life. If it wasn't for Dave, I would not have been able to help them  with anything these past few years.

This past year has been exceptionally difficult with some issues that have been very hard to deal with.  Dave has been patient, supportive and loving to me and to our family.   He has been my rock and what we have been through and his continued love means so much to me.

And he has become a stepdad to our pugs. They are now Diego Uggetti and Seamus Uggetti according to the vet!!  They absolutely love him, as do the grandpugs.

I don't know what I would do without this wonderful man in my life.  He has helped me keep somewhat sane (and that is a big job)!  I am eternally grateful that he came into my life and I love how we get along and the life that we share.  Happy Father's Day to a man who stepped in to a rough situation and has done everything to make our lives better. Dave is a very good man!!!

A Dream Come True for Me

 

Ever since I was a little kid, I always wanted a go cart or something like that  I remember always wanted to be able to drive.  My mom taught all of us (the cousins) to drive around the cabin way before we were able to get our driver's license.  In those days, it wasn't a big deal.  I started learning to drive when I was 13 and was able to drive right out of Douglas all the way to the cabin way before I had my license.  I will always remember when I turned 16 and had to wait a few days for the MVD to be open to get my really Driver's License.  

Through the years, I always wanted to go to do go carts or do anything with an ATV.  I never had many opportunities but it was in my blood.  I could never afford to buy anything so I just had to hope that someday maybe I could have something.

When my dear friend, Dottie, invited us to their home in Rocky Point, my favorite part was getting to take the ATV's on the beach and up the hill.  I loved it.

When Dave and I got married and started spending time in Butte, I loved how everyone drives their side by sides around town.  He isn't into that as golf is his passion.  So I had to do a lot of talking (and groveling).  

Last 4th of July, we went up to his cousins' house high above Butte.  John Casey took me out on their side by side and I was totally and truly hooked (yes, it is John's fault)!

So for the last year, I have whined and groveled.  When Dave had his back surgery, I was his nurse.  Being a nurse is definitely not my gig, but I did it and did it well.  So when we got to Butte, Dave decided that between his golfing and me being a nurse, I should be able to find a side by side. We looked into ones that were used and for sale and many of them were very expensive and way more sophisticated for someone like me.

Last Friday, we went to Staacks here in Butte. Dave went to high school with the owner.  We were able to get a great deal on a brand new one that is perfect for a beginner like me.  I absolutely love driving it.  I am trying to find trails and have had some help from his family.  However, it is street ready so I am driving it all over.  I caused quite a stir earlier this week when I went to pick up groceries at WalMart.  It has been fun.  I have found a trail (and there are so many around here) and am hoping to try it out tomorrow or Sunday.   

As I said, it is a dream come true for me.   Thank you, Dave!!

50 Years of Wedded Bliss!!

 

As I get older, more and more times I am invited or am able to congratulate friends and relatives on their 50th wedding anniversary.   All I can say is that in this day and age, that is an amazing accomplishment.  

On May 29th, we were able to celebrate my cousin (sister) Cecilia's and Jay's 50th.  It doesn't seem possible.  However, their marriage is one that I have always admired and have been in awe of the relationship they have.

Cecilia and I have been the best of friends for over 50 years.  I remember her dating different people through the years.  When I was first at ASU and so homesick, she would pick me up on Fridays and I would spend the weekend with them.  It was so much fun!  Cecilia knew (and still knows) how to have a good time. 

I remember when she and Jay first started dating.  It was obvious how much they cared about each other and in my opinion, it was a perfect match.

Throughout the years, my kids and hers were together much of the time when growing up and beyond. They were like first cousins.  Many of our holidays have been spent with the Phoenix cousins.

Cecilia and Jay are truly two of the best people I have ever known and I know that they are a phone call away if I ever need them (and that has happened many times)!

I know that this anniversary was bittersweet for Cecilia as she had just lost her dear sister, Marion, the week before and the funeral was on Thursday.  However, I am so glad that her kids went ahead with the fun evening to celebrate them.  I know Marion would have wanted that.

Lots of love to you both and your wonderful kids.  Thanks for always being there for me.  I can't ever express how much you both mean to me!