Saturday, November 4, 2017

Time of Reflection

I have been back from cleaning out 858 for a little over two weeks.  For truly the first time in my life, I am living alone.   I have to say that I really like this. I have spent quite a bit of time over the last two weeks getting rid of clothes and other "things" that we have collected through the years.

With the house selling so quickly in Douglas, it has been a bit of a relief. It should close the end of November.  It is still hard for me to wrap my head around not having that house.  I am going to the cabin on Friday and most times in the past I would stop and take a shower at least or spend the night before coming back to Gilbert.  This time I am not going to go through Douglas at all.  I will go on I10 instead. I just can't quite bring myself to go to Douglas right now.  I hope that I will be able to some time in the future.

Before he left, Ken took down the big 858 from the front porch and put regular numbers up.  He figured that it would look nice in my house.  I spoke with our friend, Shad, who does beautiful art work with wood.  He had no problem creating something.   He brought it by and will be putting it up.  It is absolutely beautiful and he did the name in Celtic lettering with the Celtic knot on the "S."


Cameron came home for a little over a week so we can get his room and closet cleaned out.  Shad is here doing some handyman work for several small projects I have to get the house in order.  

I still have a lot to sort through from Douglas and decide what to keep, what to send to cousins and what to throw away. It seems like every day I find something new that is worth writing on my blog to keep the family history going.   Even though I know a lot of family doesn't read this, at least it will be here for the future.

When I first came back from Douglas in July, 2015, I was worried about what I was going to do.  For the 27 years I had been an administrator, I had worked many, many hours. There is really no such thing as a 40 hour week in the life of an administrator.  I was thinking that I should get a job, but with everything else going on at that time, a full time job would not have worked.

I kept fairly busy helping Judy with Teresa, although at that time she could still be left alone.  But I took her to doctor appointments and family gatherings. I also did some work with ASU and then in the spring subbed a few days every other week for an elementary principal.  After that was when I decided to run for Governing Board and so that kept me very busy from June through November.  In addition, I had Teresa during that time and she could not be left alone.  She was really starting to decline and was up a lot during the night.

Last November we put her in a group home. I went over to see her just about every single day.   When my term started on the Board, I was elected president. That required a lot of work and I spent many hours on it.   

We were fortunate to hire Shane McCord as our new superintendent and he started on the Monday after I went to Douglas. Even though there is still a lot to do being on the Board, I am not nearly as busy as before and that is the way it should be!!!

So two weeks ago when I came back from Douglas, the true reality of retirement struck me. I no longer had to do as much with the Board, taking care of Douglas was done, I didn't have to go visit Teresa (and that is the sad part), Cameron stayed in Oakland with Patrick so he wasn't home,  and Kerri moved in with Chris.

Being alone has been great.  I can eat what I want and when I want.  I can leave things out or straighten things up.   

So where do I go from here? That is a question that I have been reflecting upon each day. I have been extremely tired from the physical and emotional exhaustion of cleaning out 858, but I am starting to feel much more rested.

I have always had a purpose and I know that I still do. I just need to decide do I want to take a couple of classes on writing or such?  I don't have hobbies other than writing, and I have thought maybe I should try to figure something out, but nothing really appeals to me right now.

I do know I can do more with the Board by visiting schools, etc. It is just going to take me some time to figure things out.     

  

    

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